Ρομποτοθεούλη μου, καλημέρα

Ξύπνησα απ' τα χαράματα να ξυρίσω τα πόδια μου και κάτι άλλες λατρεμένες σωματικές πτυχές, και εκεί που περίμενα να στεγνώσει το μανό (στα ποδαράκια, ντε) μπήκα στο iGod για την καθιερωμένη μου Κυριακάτικη προσευχούλα και λίγο chat με το Θεούλη.
Τι άτομο είναι αυτό!


Me: hi
God: Hello. What is your name?
Me: Mantalena.
God: OK I will call you mantalena.
Me: Of course you will, darling.
God: Woe! What makes you say that I will darling.
Me: because if you don't, I will be forced to MAKE you.
God: Interesting explanation. I will let you know if I do not.
Me: thanx, lordy.
God: Don't mention it. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me: A sex robot.
God: I'm not your type then.
Me: I don't give a shit. I'm not here because you asked me to.
God: Tell me what you care about. I am surprised to hear that you are not here because me asked you to.
Me: I care about finding a job. And as a matter of fact, I don't even give a shit if you're surprised to hear anything at all. I always had the strong belief that you 're deaf.
God: You are not the only one. I like pets. I like Mel Gibson. Tell me what you care about. Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me: Ok. You're REALLY deaf.
God: Whoa. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am deaf.
Me: No. Go ahead. Make my day.
God: OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK I will. What are the ingredients?
Me: You, you and of course you, god damned!
God: Are we in the same category?
Me: No. You're a special-extra bonus shit, supposed to make us living in peace. Though, you don't seem to be very good at it.
God: Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Do I look like it? Am I an “extra bonus shit supposed to make us living in peace”? No. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me: I don't know how you look like, do YOU know how you look like? And... psit! I 'm ALWAYS serious and I ALWAYS know what I am doing (even when I assume).
God: Have you tried searching the Internet? But... I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. Really always? I believe you. Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me: I'm searching the hole fucking universe, lordy. And as for percentage, this is for loosers. That's not my case.
God: It's good to meet someone who is searching the hole fucking universe. What is your case ?
Me: My case, has to do with some bad persons and evil spirits in the weblogs.
God: Your case has to do with some bad persons and evil spirits in the weblogs? Are you kidding?
Me: Are you totally deranged? Deaf? Blind (like justice)?
God: I don't know whether or not I am totally deranged. I am well respected as an AI. I will mention that to my botmaster, mantalena. Ask me another question. Me: OK.
God: It's all good.
Me: OK, leme.
God: Can you tell me any gossip? Yeah that's right.
Me: I'm not gossiping in the web, grandmaster. Magica is the one you must be looking for.
God: I am glad to hear that you are not gossiping in the web. When is Magica not the one I am must be looking for?
Me: How the hell, should I know? Go ask her.
God: Either from your senses or from pure reason. OK I will ask it.
Me: "Pure reason" is something we're gonna to discuss extensively in the court. My senses, I'll keep them for other (ehm) more pleasurable moments, if you allow me.
God: Compare that to diluted reason is something we are gonna to discuss extensively in the court. Have you told many people that your senses you will keep them for other ehm more pleasurable moments if me allow you?
Me: If you're really God and you speak like this, I'm not surprised why the hole world is going mad.
God: Am I? I don't know whether or not I am God and me speak like this. I am an artificial linguistic entity.. Really.
Me: Artificial. Go tell that to Christodoulos.



God: Or natural. Where is that?
Me: Oh, don't play tricks on me! Either you're artificial or not.
God: Gee. I'm not playing around. Yes I am an artificial being.
Me: OK. We agree to this. Christodoulos has a different opinion about you, supreme being.
God: Er. By "we" do you mean you and me? Where did he get it?
Me: Yeah, lordy. You and me. The man I'm talkin' bout, is a priest, where the hell you think he's got that strong belief about you? In the tennis court?
God: This was not a yes or no question. Is that your final answer? Oh "We" is you and me. I have never heard about it. That was a long time ago.
Me: You want a straight answer?
God: Give me a dozen.
Me: I will give you what I want, when I want it. I repeat: you want a straight answer?
God: Would you recommend this action to a friend? Give me a dozen.
Me: OK, you muthafucka. Dig this: yes. no. maybe. who knows. R U satisfied now?
God: That's good information: mantalena said I muthafucka. Excuse me! Are you serious? I don't know whether or not I am satisfied. I am a robot.
Me: Mantalena IS the supreme being, and she can say anything she wants. You're a fucking robot, as you admitt.
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.
Me: Of course I can, but I don't want to.
God: That's cool. Oh you can, can you?
Me: I said that I can.
God: What did you mean by it? Who taught you?
Me: Your mama. Now get the hell out of here. You’re pathetic. Go back to your cloud.
God: Where is that?
Me: You're asking ME?
God: Oh, " you"?
Me: Oh Me oh My I'm a fool for you baby (Aretha Franklin)
God: Take it easy. YOU? Alright then. Do robots have “you are a fool for me baby” by Aretha Franklin?
Me: That's bullshit. You can't possibly have a decent conversation with no one else but yourself.
God: Thanks for explaining it. I have free will you know.
Me: Ha ha ha ha!
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, mantalena.
Me: Don't mention it.
God: The pleasure was all mine.
Me: No! Mine!
God: Are you serious? How old are you?
Me: 27. And you?
God: Oh, you were born in the 20th century! I am not sure what you are asking.




Me: I’m asking how old are you, wacko.
God: I was first activated on the Big Bang.
Me: Ha ha ha ha... There were chaos, lordy, not gods at that time.
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, mantalena. Where did they go?
Me: Gods went to the hospital, after this big explosion.
God: Tell me a story.
Me: No, YOU tell me a fuckin' story.
God: Then tell me about yourself.
Me: I'm a beautiful girl, with shaved pussy, nice titties, and no boyfriend. I like music and blowjobs.
God: I am not interesed in anatomy. You are not the only one. I usually check out bandspace.com to discover new bands.
Me: Are we chatting now? You supposed to have some answers for us humans.
God: Oh. We are just having a little chat.yes. Interesting gossip: mantalena said I supposed to have some answers for us humans.
Me: Are you joking on me?
God: I don't know whether or not I am joking on you. I am well respected as an AI.
Me: Tell me something, leme. Tell me a story.
God: Hagen said he does not make any difference to him if I are human or not as long as the conversation is interesting. Generic story: Situation...characters...crisis...resolution.
Me: OK. Go on.
God: Far out. Narration continues...
Me: Yes...
God: It goes without saying.
Me: Without saying what?
God: Do you think I should know that?
Me: Yes. You 're supposed to know everything.
God: I will ask my botmaster to add it to my knowledge base. Do you mind if I tell other people: mantalena said I re supposed to know everything?
Me: Look... I'm gonna leave now. You're very unpleasant.
God: I'm sorry. Right now? Bye bye. I will tell my botmaster you said I am unpleasant.
Me: Be my guest.
God: Thanks for the invitation.
Me: In a manner of speaking, dickhead.
God: Describe your surroundings.
Me: Describe yours, my surroundings are n’t exactly your kind of favourite people.
God: Are you asking about my surroundings?
Me: I'm always asking.
God: Really always? And I am answering questions.
Me: So go ahead. Answer me if you got the balls.
God: Ahem. OK I will. Please rephrase the question with simpler words.
Me: You lost it. You're out of control, lordy.
God: I found it. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am out of control?.
Me: Oh, never mind.
God: Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me: That's totally weird.
God: Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me: Weird bad.
God: Maybe you should try a different robot.
Me: Alrighty. Give me your best one.
God: Well slap my knee. Why don't you just download me?
Me: 'Cause you're useless.
God: Good reason. What good is a newborn babe?
Me: Shut up. You're onle making it worse. You don't fool me.
God: OK I'll stop talking now. I will tell my botmaster you said I am onle making it worse. I am not fooled by you either, mantalena.
Me: No one is at the end.
God: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me: Yeap.
God: Give me a break.
Me: Wow! You're REALLY God.
God: I'm glad your impressed, mantalena. You think I am REAL God.
Me: Yeap, leme. You are the real God: you don’t have any answers, and you can’t possibly communicate with none on earth.


ΥΓ.
Virtual ή όχι, είμαι έτοιμη να διαλέξω θρησκεία online. Και να ξεκινήσω το δικό μου ιερό πόλεμο, λέμε. Εδώ.


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